


Fighting their Doubts

by kayson



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Kink Meme, Kissing, M/M, Mild Language, Oblivious Poe, Pining, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5785198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayson/pseuds/kayson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for this prompt on the tfa kink meme: https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1841.html?thread=1665841#cmt1665841 </p>
<p>Poe has fallen for Finn but think’s he’s too old for him and that Finn loves Rey, so he’s trying so hard to just be a good friend. </p>
<p>Everyone around them can see how much Poe’s fallen for Finn. Some might feel sorry for him because they also think the same as he does. </p>
<p>And Finn’s struggling to work out how exactly to tell Poe how much he feels for him, worrying that maybe Poe doesn't feel the same at all as Poe seems to be trying to distance himself when Finn tries to drop hints etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fighting their Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Feel free to squee about stormpilot with me any time. I can't get enough! 
> 
> Warning: All mistakes are mine - this is shamelessly unbeta'd.

Poe’s lying on his back, tinkering around with Black One’s flashback suppressor when someone squats down next to him. He vaguely realizes it’s Pava and grunts in greeting, continuing his work.

On their last mission he took a few hits and while his X-wing is still in good condition - they didn’t break his shields - he’s concerned about overloading the suppressors. The last thing he needs is for his wing tip to be destroyed. The General would kill him if he grounded himself. That is, if the resulting crash didn’t kill him first.

“Finn was looking for you,” Jess tells him innocently and begins twirling the power wrench he was about to reach for.

Poe tries not to look interested but he spares her a glance and asks, “Oh yeah?”

Jess smirks. “I told him you were busy.” She starts to flip the wrench up in the air, seemingly unaware of the fact that Poe needs it to complete his repairs. “But I think he’s down at the range if you, you know, wanted to find him.”

“Why would I want to do that?” Poe asks, pretending to ignore her antics. After a few more flips of the wrench he reaches out and snatches it from midair, chuckling at the startled look on her face.

“You’re no fun, Commander,” she remarks, rolling her eyes. She watches as he continues the repairs on his X-wing and after a few minutes when he makes no move to get up, she demands, “You’re really not going to go find him?”

“No,” Poe says shortly, avoiding her gaze. He would love to go down to the range and watch Finn practice but he’s trying to keep his distance.

The other night Snap had offhandedly remarked that it was great to see Poe taking such an interest in the ex-Stormtrooper, especially since he wasn’t under Poe’s command, and offering to show him the ropes around the base. Almost like a big brother, Snap had said.

While Snap hadn’t meant anything by it, his comment had made Poe feel uncomfortable knowing that his feelings towards Finn were anything but brotherly. Not to mention it had reminded him that he was ten years Finn’s senior and that the kid had been put through hell his entire life.

The last thing he needs, Poe thinks, is Poe leering at him.

Poe sighs, remembering Snap’s words, and tries to ignore Jess as she mutters, “You’re an idiot!” and storms off in the direction of her own X-wing.

“It’s for the best,” Poe grumbles and finishes making the adjustments to his ship.

 

\---

 

Three hours later Poe is showered and eating dinner in the mess with Iolo and Karé when Finn plops his food tray down at their table and settles himself in the empty chair next to Poe.

“Hey, buddy,” Poe greets, trying to ignore the way his stomach flops over at Finn’s grin. “Jess said you were down at the range earlier.”

“Heard you’re a good shot, too,” Iolo remarks, raising his eyebrows at Poe and nodding minutely towards Finn, who is focusing on his food. “Connix was telling the General you scored near perfect. Not bad for someone who just got out of medbay a few weeks ago.”

Finn smiles slightly, looking embarrassed but pleased at the praise as he continues eating.

“Poe thinks you’d be a good gunner,” Karé adds and Poe wants to shake her even though he knows she’s just trying to boost Finn’s confidence.

“Yeah?” Finn asks, looking up from his plate and raising an eyebrow at Poe expectantly. “Maybe we could practice together sometime.”

Poe nearly chokes, mumbles something incoherent about checking his schedule, and tries not to feel like an asshole when Finn looks disappointed.

“You want seconds?” Poe asks lamely, motioning down at Finn’s now empty plate.

“Huh? Oh, no, I think I’ll just head back to my room and take a shower.” Finn gets up from the table and offers a little parting wave, looking hopefully at Poe. “See you later? I’ve gotta give you back that history holo on the Rebellion.”

Poe hesitates for a moment and Finn, looking nervous, quickly adds, “Or I can drop it off. It’s no problem. You gonna be back in your room in an hour?”

“Sure,” Poe agrees and it’s hard not to smile at Finn who now looks relieved and a little excited. “That’d be great. Thanks.”

“See ya,” Finn replies with a nod and leaves with his empty tray.

Iolo and Karé watch Poe’s face as Finn walks away. When Finn’s out of sight, Karé reaches over and punches Poe on the shoulder, a wicked grin on her face.

“You’ve got it bad,” Iolo observes, laughing apologetically when Poe glares at him. “Sorry, man, that’s rough.”

“What is?” Karé asks, confused. “He’s a nice guy. What’s wrong? Go get him, Dameron, you coward.”

Poe rolls his eyes. “He’s not interested.”

“What?” Karé demands at exactly the same time Iolo says, “I know.”

“What?” Karé repeats, looking at both men as if they’ve lost their minds. “Did you just watch that? I’m pretty sure he just invited himself back to your room.”

“He’s into Rey, the Jedi girl,” Iolo replies slowly, in the same voice someone would use to talk to someone they didn’t think was particularly bright. “He’s always talking about her.”

“And I’m always talking about the General, doesn’t mean I want to--”

“Yes, thank you, Karé!” Poe interrupts thinking that sometimes his friends can be slightly too graphic without consideration for the fact that he is a very visual person. “The point stands, he’s not interested.”

“You’re an idiot,” Karé says affectionately but she doesn’t press the subject.

“So I’ve been told,” Poe replies dryly and stands to bus the table.

 

\---

 

A little over an hour later Poe is sitting on his bed with his datapad, reviewing notes from a meeting with General Organa when Finn knocks on his door.

“C’mon in,” Poe calls, locking his datapad and tossing it on the side table, “it’s open.”

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late,” Finn says, handing the Rebellion holo to Poe and moving to sit next to him on the bed.

Poe hurriedly gets to his feet and something inside of him shrivels up when Finn looks wrongfooted. “Thanks for returning this.” He pauses as though grasping for something to say and decides on, “What did you think?”

Finn chokes out a laugh and shakes his head. “Well, it’s not what the First Order taught, that’s for sure.”

Poe snorts. “I can imagine.”

Finn shifts uncomfortably and Poe wants to kick himself. Talking about the First Order isn’t something either of them enjoy as Finn’s still trying to sort out historical reality from the propaganda and Poe just wants to blast them all to the ends of the galaxy.

“I got a message from Rey,” Finn offers after a minute of uncomfortable silence.

Poe nods jerkily. “Oh yeah? That’s great.”

“She’ll be here sometime next week,” Finn adds and a grin breaks out across his face. “I can’t wait to introduce you two!”

“We’ve met,” Poe reminds him with a grin. “You were there, too.”

“Oh, right, yeah, when I was sleeping.” Finn snickers. “Well, I’ll look forward to being awake for this meeting.”

“Yeah. It’ll be a nice change,” Poe jokes and Finn rolls his eyes.

“It’ll be so good to see her,” Finn says quietly, almost shyly. “I’ve missed her. She’s...”

“She’s a special girl,” Poe finishes for him with an understanding smile.

“Yeah.” Finn grins. “Yeah, she is.”

“You’re lucky to have her,” Poe adds, trying not to feel jealous. He’s happy to let Finn talk about Rey, he knows what it’s like to have someone in your life that you think the world of, but it also causes a sickening feeling in his gut. 

“I am,” Finn agrees and opens his mouth to say more before having to quickly smother a yawn. He smiles at Poe apologetically and says, “I was going to try to borrow another holo but I may need to call it an early night.”

“Sure, buddy,” Poe replies, grinning as Finn covers another yawn. “Get some rest.” He claps Finn on the shoulder and spins him towards the door. “You can always borrow one tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Finn turns back, pausing and looking at Poe as though he wants to say something more but he quickly closes his mouth and presses the door release. “Good night.”

Poe sighs and says, “G’night” as the door slides shut behind Finn.

“I’ve got it bad,” he mutters to himself disgustedly, staring at the closed door. Frustrated with himself, Poe leaves his room a few minutes after Finn, deciding a surprise inspection of his squadrons' ships is the best way to clear his head.

 

\---

 

Over the next six days, Poe doesn’t see much of Finn and it’s only partially intentional. Word that Luke Skywalker and Rey are returning to the base has spread like wildfire and he’s frequently called to meetings or busy running drills with his squads.

General Organa is convinced that Luke has information about the First Order and she wants to be prepared for anything. 

Poe tends to agree with the General and doesn’t mind the extra work, it helps him avoid Karé’s teasing and Iolo’s sympathetic looks whenever Rey’s name is mentioned. He still has to put up with Jess muttering under her breath in the hangar but after a few extra formation drills and running laps around the practice yards twice a day, even she can’t focus on much else except sleeping, eating, and working.

“Commander,” General Organa calls, striding purposefully towards Poe as he climbs out of his X-wing, helmet tucked under his arm. “A moment.”

Poe nods and orders BB-8 to begin a full scan of the ship. “Everything alright, General?”

“Yes,” she replies with a small shrug, “and no.”

Poe frowns with surprise when he sees R2-D2 and Chewbacca enter the hangar and head towards where he is talking with the General. “Where are…” he trails off, realizing the answer before he finishes his question.

“They’re not here,” General Organa confirms, sighing heavily and allowing Chewbacca to pat her comfortingly on the back. “Artoo brought a message from Luke.” She gestures towards R2-D2 who whistles in acknowledgement. “Luke sensed a disturbance and decided it was too much of a risk for us if he and Rey came to the base. They’ve left his location and are pursuing a lead about the First Order on the other side of the galaxy.”

“I’m sorry,” Poe says, unsure of the appropriate response.

“Don’t be,” the General replies and Poe doesn’t need the Force to sense her disappointment. “Let your squads know that their practice hasn’t been for nothing. I’ll need you to send a few pilots to the Bresnia System. It’s routine recon but it’ll get a few of the itchy ones off world.”

“Of course.” Poe chuckles and appreciates that the General is able to joke with him. “I’ll let them know and have Bastian and Pava ready to leave in the morning.”

“Good.” General Organa nods once and after a moment’s hesitation says, “And let Finn know. He shouldn’t hear it through the rumor mill.”

Poe swallows thickly, suddenly feeling wretched. He hadn’t thought about how Finn would take the news. “Of course, General.”

“He’s a good man,” General Organa adds and Poe swears she’s smirking. “You could do a lot worse.”

Before Poe can even puzzle out a response to her bizarre comment, she’s wishing him a good afternoon and walking from the hangar with Chewbacca and R2-D2 at her side. He can feel eyes boring into the back of his skull and turns to see Jess and Snap standing close by, obviously eavesdropping, and shouts at Pava to get back to work as she throws her head back and laughs.

 

\---

 

“Finn!” Poe shouts loudly over the sound of blaster fire, not wanting to get too close to where Finn and seven others are participating in a target practice. “Finn!”

Finn and a few of the others, including the instructor, turn at the sound of Finn’s name. Finn frowns at him and Poe feels a little guilty for having avoided Finn’s company for the last few days.

“Need to borrow him,” Poe calls and the instructor, a Tholothian female named Jeedila, waves Finn away.

Poe waits patiently while Finn puts his weapon away and retrieves his jacket from where it’s draped over a metal bench.

Finn walks over slowly, almost nervously, his eyes searching Poe’s face for some kind of answer. He seems to find it because his shoulders slump and he says, “She’s not coming, is she?”

Poe shakes his head. “I’m sorry, buddy.” He nods towards the building that houses the mess hall. “You wanna grab something to eat?”

Finn shrugs but he starts walking in the direction Poe suggested. “Do you know why?”

“They’re not coming?” Poe clarifies. “Not really. The General just said that it’s got something to do with the Force and following a lead about the First Order.”

Finn nods glumly and Poe is about to offer trite words of comfort when Finn says suddenly, “Actually, can we just go somewhere quiet?” He pauses, looking uncertain. “Maybe we could go to your room?”

“Yeah,” Poe agrees and before he even has a chance to think about it he’s switching directions so they’re walking towards the barracks. He wants to be supportive, he knows it must be crushing Finn to have gotten his hopes up about Rey. “I’ve got a few more holos we can watch.”

“Sounds good,” Finn replies, forcing a smile on his face as they enter the barracks. “Lead on, Commander.”

Poe starts slightly at Finn using his rank and asks, mock-serious, “Are you sassing me, Cadet?”

Finn ducks his head to hide a real grin and says, “Of course not, Sir.”

Poe laughs and pulls Finn in for a one-armed hug as they continue to Poe’s room. “C’mon, let me get changed into civvies and you can pick the holo.”

Finn nods and Poe removes his arm from around Finn’s shoulders in order to key in the unlock code to his door.

“After you,” Poe says, waving Finn inside once the door slides open.

As soon as the door closes behind them, Poe finds himself pressed against the wall with an armful of Finn.

A surprised “Wha--?” is all he manages to get out before Finn’s mouth is on his and Poe’s hands automatically reach for Finn’s waist. It takes him longer than he is willing to admit to come to his senses and pull Finn away.

“Finn, what are you doing?” he asks gently, feeling slightly used and wondering if this is some kind of weird coping mechanism for Rey’s postponed return.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you,” Finn begins and blushes crimson before he looks away, obviously embarrassed. “I must have misunderstood.”

“What do you mean?” Poe asks, trying to stay calm as he grabs Finn’s forearm to keep him from running away. He's close to bolting himself and holding onto Finn keeps them both grounded. “I thought you and Rey…”

Finn looks up, the blush still coloring cheeks but a fierce look is now in his eyes as he corrects, “Rey’s my friend.” He looks repulsed by the very idea. “ _Just_ my friend.”

“Oh,” Poe says, blinking stupidly and feeling very much the fool. So Jess and Karé and, oh no even the _General_ , had been right in encouraging him to go after Finn, he thinks, completely mortified. He’s never going to live this down.

Finn chuckles nervously. “Yeah.” He studies Poe’s face for a moment and must decide he likes what he sees because he leans in and presses his mouth against Poe’s once more. This time his kiss soft but with a deeper sense of urgency and Poe bites back a moan, placing his hands on Finn's chest.

“This is a bad idea,” Poe gasps, breaking away in an effort to maintain his composure. The warmth of Finn’s body is making it hard to think and he wants nothing more than to pull Finn close and kiss him deeply. The thought sends a jolt to his groin and he has to remind himself that just a few seconds ago he thought Finn was pining for Rey in order to stifle a groan.

“Why?” Finn asks, adjusting his stance as though expecting a fight.

“Because I’m too old for you,” Poe replies hoarsely, moving his hands so he's gently gripping Finn’s shoulders as he holds him an arm’s length away. Learning of Finn’s feelings for him doesn’t change the fact that he’s nearly ten years Finn’s senior and definitely has more than ten years’ worth of experience when it comes to sex and relationships.

“That’s stupid,” Finn snaps, taking a step closer and reaching up to grip Poe’s wrists. He begins tracing circles on the soft underside of Poe’s wrists with his thumbs, making Poe shudder until he drops his hands from Finn’s shoulders.

Finn frowns and adds, “I’m not a child.”

“I know,” Poe agrees, because he does know. Finn’s explained in more detail than Poe wanted to know about how the First Order treats the children they steal. It’s worse than he could have imagined and knowing that Finn went through that kind of cruelty, that any child has been subjected to that kind of cruelty, makes him sick with fury.

“Then what’s the problem?” Finn demands but his voice catches and Poe can tell he’s nervous. “Did I do something wrong?”

Poe takes a deep breath and realizes he has no idea how to explain the problem. He’s not even sure there really _is_ a problem. Does age really make that big of a difference or was that just the excuse he was using to keep from allowing himself to fantasize about Finn when he thought Rey was Finn’s girlfriend? He’s no longer sure and he’s not sure it really matters anyway.

“Poe,” Finn begins, looking suddenly ashamed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I really wouldn’t have done anything but then I didn’t see you for a few days and I thought I’d done something wrong and…”

“ _No_ ,” Poe says forcefully, interrupting Finn’s rambling and unnecessary apology. “No, buddy, I’m sorry. I really...I’m an idiot.”

Finn laughs. “Jess said that too.”

“Oh yeah?” Poe asks, raising an eyebrow in his best imitation of General Organa but he doesn't press the topic.

Finn grins and Poe tugs him close again so that Finn’s chest is pressed against Poe’s. Finn meets his eyes and smiles tentatively, almost shyly, before leaning in one more time and kissing Poe gently.

Poe deepens the kiss, trying to express with his body language what he’s unsure how to voice aloud. He’s has no idea what the next steps are but he knows he wants this. Knows that the doubts he’s previously harbored are unfounded and that Finn’s just as interested in figuring out those steps. It’s not how he expected this day to go, especially after learning the news about Luke and Rey, but he’s done protesting.

After about a minute, Poe breaks the kiss and holds Finn tightly, pressing a kiss to his jaw before releasing him and gently navigating Finn to the bed. Finn starts to protest when Poe doesn’t sit down on the bed with him but Poe just shakes his head with a smile.

“I really do need to change,” he says apologetically, focusing on Finn’s face in an attempt to keep his own body from becoming too excited. “And you need to pick the holo.”

Finn huffs a laugh and leans back on Poe’s bed, his eyes sweeping over Poe’s body. “I suppose I can wait." Poe’s jaw drops and Finn grins at his surprise. “I’m not naive.”

“Forgive me,” Poe drawls, half-sincere half-mocking.

Finn snorts and turns his attention to Poe’s holo collection.

Poe smiles fondly and turns to busy himself with selecting a pair of well-worn brown trousers and a green shirt.

It doesn’t take him long to change into civvies and he’s just finished hanging up his flight suit when he feels Finn wrap himself around his back. Poe relaxes as Finn starts to maneuver him against the wall, hands exploring cautiously but not dipping under the clothing Poe has just pulled on as he kisses his way up to Poe's mouth.

Poe pulls Finn even closer and kisses him warmly. When they finally break for air Poe reaches up to rest his hand against Finn's cheek and his smile is full of promises to come.


End file.
